Thoughts on my Grandma Ruth

My Grandma Ruth was one of the most giving ladies I know. She would go without so she could help any member of her family.

I am named after her and we have always had a special bond because of it.

She has Alzheimer's and doesn't recognize me anymore. It was a sad day when I went to see her and realized she didn't know me anymore. I never thought she would forget Bonnie Ruth.

She is in a care center and when I go with my mom to see her it makes me so sad to see her sitting in her chair staring off into space.

I went with my mom a couple of days ago to see her and my mom said to her, "Mom this is Bonnie Ruth do you remember Bonnie Ruth?"
I had my son with me, and my mom said "This is Bonnie Ruth's little boy, Bo."

I have known that my grandma wouldn't know my son, but I had never cried about it until that day. I think it was because of how my mom said it. I know my grandma would be so proud of my son and she would love him.

My mom said she wanted Grandma to maybe recognize me a little bit. Even though we know she hasn't for a long time. Sometimes she smiles and we think she may have a spark of knowing or feeling who we are.

Grandma does love when my sisters and I bring our little kids to see her. Her face lights up and she watches them and says oh. She doesn't say many words anymore and we just talk to her and tell her that we love  her or that her hair and finger nails look nice.

Alzheimer's is such a sad disease. I really wish Grandma didn't have it. I have a lot of questions I would really like to ask her but I know she won't be able to answer me. I love Grandma Ruth so much and I am so sad to see her in this state.

I love you Grandma!